Going to Heaven
A Sunday school teacher was talking to her class of kindergarten students about Heaven. She said: “If I sell my house and my car and give all the money to poor people, will I go to Heaven?”
“No,” chorused the children.
“What if I quit my job and spend all my time helping orphans, then do I get to go to Heaven?”
“No,” answered the children in unison.
“Okay, so just how do I get to go to Heaven?”
One little boy shouted out: “You gotta be dead first.”
Welcoming Church
A woman met a preacher in the street and asked him: “Does your church welcome all denominations?”
“Yes,” he replied, “but we prefer tens and twenties.”