Categorized | Local, Man from Baker Hill, News

CLAIRE SHORT’S CURSE: The quest for Golden Elements

By Man from Baker Hill

In 1997, former UK Member of Parliament Minister Claire Short declared that Montserratians will be looking for golden elephants out of the volcano. And some Montserratians believed that there really were elephants made of gold; so much so, that they embarked on a quest to secure one of their own. They never understood what Minister Short meant. It was how she said the words that confused us; and ultimately brought the curse on Montserrat. Some Montserratians still believe that British people’s hard earned tax dollars are to be lavished on a selected few. And that is very sad because it is the manifestation of a curse. However, luckily the British recognize the potency of the Minister Claire Short’s statement; and thank God that they did, because they are the only ones who could remove the curse.

The situation at MDC and by extension Little Bay in the year 2014 is the just the tip of the Curse. Worse is still to come; there may be weeping and gnashing of teeth for messing with the white man’s money. Things could get worse than the Turks and Caicos situation.

Nevertheless, Montserratians do not despair over the likely dismantling of the MDC. If it happens, then it is a necessary ritual in exorcising the curse of Lady Minister Claire Short. You see, MDC is where the money is stacked. And as long as there is loads of money, there will be some people with great desire to get stacks of it to build their own little golden elephant.  It is just the way life is… selfishness and greed, politically.

But now that the British are back; they have raised our expectations for the proper redevelopment of Montserrat, especially Port Little Bay. So in the mean time, we sincerely ask that they redouble their effort to root out the imaginary golden elephant mentality from among us. And if one or two of us have to be temporarily put in jail, so be it.

Yes, the British can’t leave us now. The Audit is not enough. Somebody must have heard the people’s lamentations about payments to equipment owners and truckers on twenty-nine hours a day leash and pensioners getting paid enough to hire half-a- dozen school –leaver’s .

Oh no, do not leave us; absolve Claire Short. Find the Golden elephants.  And if you can’t find them, let me help you. Everybody knows that I know a thing or two about removing curses and hexes. I do know a bit about … you know what I mean. I did not have to work in Haiti; but I worked in the Inland Revenue department. And I can show and tell how to rid Montserrat of the desire to become golden Elephants.

Here is my free advice. Let loose the Inland Revenue Tax Collectors into the payment records of the MDC.  Allow them to trail every payment to the payee’s tax return. Yes, Premier Romeo, you are Don the man in the Van now, follow the British. You too, can’t stop now. You must set in motion a forensic tax investigation into the payments made by MDC and have it completed before budget day 2015.

Premier Romeo, I heard you on OECS News Link lamenting about lack of resources to get Montserrat moving. Show the British that you mean well. Send your tax collectors into the payment records of the MDC now. Do not wait on the British to tell you to do so.  You told the world that people are still in shelters and that you need 400 more houses. You have to help yourself first.

But if you have a problem I can help. I went to Haiti once, and I will go again if you want me to refresh my mystical and forensic tax tentacles. Like the good old Gun Smoke, I have ‘Tax Gun’; I will travel and work too. There will be no problem, the British already knock down the MDC door; so we can walk right in and take the records for tax purposes.

And do not forget, Premier Romeo, the British have the tax arrears matter on the agenda to be be resolved before Budget day 2015. They want the list of names and the criteria for writing off the tax arrears. Again, do not despair: I will deal with that too!

All these things and much, much more are part of the ritual to rid Montserrat of the curse of Claire Short and the Golden Elephants.

Have faith Montserratians, I will be there!

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A Moment with the Registrar of Lands

By Man from Baker Hill

In 1997, former UK Member of Parliament Minister Claire Short declared that Montserratians will be looking for golden elephants out of the volcano. And some Montserratians believed that there really were elephants made of gold; so much so, that they embarked on a quest to secure one of their own. They never understood what Minister Short meant. It was how she said the words that confused us; and ultimately brought the curse on Montserrat. Some Montserratians still believe that British people’s hard earned tax dollars are to be lavished on a selected few. And that is very sad because it is the manifestation of a curse. However, luckily the British recognize the potency of the Minister Claire Short’s statement; and thank God that they did, because they are the only ones who could remove the curse.

The situation at MDC and by extension Little Bay in the year 2014 is the just the tip of the Curse. Worse is still to come; there may be weeping and gnashing of teeth for messing with the white man’s money. Things could get worse than the Turks and Caicos situation.

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Nevertheless, Montserratians do not despair over the likely dismantling of the MDC. If it happens, then it is a necessary ritual in exorcising the curse of Lady Minister Claire Short. You see, MDC is where the money is stacked. And as long as there is loads of money, there will be some people with great desire to get stacks of it to build their own little golden elephant.  It is just the way life is… selfishness and greed, politically.

But now that the British are back; they have raised our expectations for the proper redevelopment of Montserrat, especially Port Little Bay. So in the mean time, we sincerely ask that they redouble their effort to root out the imaginary golden elephant mentality from among us. And if one or two of us have to be temporarily put in jail, so be it.

Yes, the British can’t leave us now. The Audit is not enough. Somebody must have heard the people’s lamentations about payments to equipment owners and truckers on twenty-nine hours a day leash and pensioners getting paid enough to hire half-a- dozen school –leaver’s .

Oh no, do not leave us; absolve Claire Short. Find the Golden elephants.  And if you can’t find them, let me help you. Everybody knows that I know a thing or two about removing curses and hexes. I do know a bit about … you know what I mean. I did not have to work in Haiti; but I worked in the Inland Revenue department. And I can show and tell how to rid Montserrat of the desire to become golden Elephants.

Here is my free advice. Let loose the Inland Revenue Tax Collectors into the payment records of the MDC.  Allow them to trail every payment to the payee’s tax return. Yes, Premier Romeo, you are Don the man in the Van now, follow the British. You too, can’t stop now. You must set in motion a forensic tax investigation into the payments made by MDC and have it completed before budget day 2015.

Premier Romeo, I heard you on OECS News Link lamenting about lack of resources to get Montserrat moving. Show the British that you mean well. Send your tax collectors into the payment records of the MDC now. Do not wait on the British to tell you to do so.  You told the world that people are still in shelters and that you need 400 more houses. You have to help yourself first.

But if you have a problem I can help. I went to Haiti once, and I will go again if you want me to refresh my mystical and forensic tax tentacles. Like the good old Gun Smoke, I have ‘Tax Gun’; I will travel and work too. There will be no problem, the British already knock down the MDC door; so we can walk right in and take the records for tax purposes.

And do not forget, Premier Romeo, the British have the tax arrears matter on the agenda to be be resolved before Budget day 2015. They want the list of names and the criteria for writing off the tax arrears. Again, do not despair: I will deal with that too!

All these things and much, much more are part of the ritual to rid Montserrat of the curse of Claire Short and the Golden Elephants.

Have faith Montserratians, I will be there!