Categorized | Local, Man from Baker Hill, News

A PAID POLITICAL STATEMENT

By Man from Baker Hill

You know what I mean —

I was tired; but not sleeping. My partner and I had just returned from our walk one evening last week. As customary, during our walk and among our chatter we talk politics; this time she mentioned that she encountered members of a political party doing house to house campaign in Baker Hill. So when I heard the knock at my door, I assumed that some of them timed my return; and I was not pleased.

Nevertheless, I came to the door but did not open it. I heard a shuffling sound and two politicians materialised behind me in the kitchen. They were ‘William H’ and ‘John Alfred’, both deceased Chief Ministers of Montserrat. I cannot describe what they looked like or what they wore; I just knew who they were. You know what I mean.

They, both Willie and John, came to talk with me. They had a political statement to share with Montserratians. They spoke; to be honest I cannot explain how they spoke. I just understood. You know what I mean.

“The report from both hell and heaven”, William H said, “is that politics on Montserrat have become a kind of joke”. Sixty years ago, I was part of a political party that developed sustainable economic, educational and social programs for Montserrat. And as Montserrat’s first Chief Minister, I took the island on a journey to political respectability and economic maturity. I listened to the wise and developed an economic journey for Montserrat second to none in the Caribbean.”

“Now resting in my peaceful grave,” William said, “I am humiliated by the sounds of men and women ‘of ashy feat’ clamoring to be the next Premier. Men and Women without political training or experience who are unwise to the meaning of fiscal or economic programs for sustainable nationhood; men and women whose aspiration is to spend UK taxpayer’s money.”

“Every nation must find a way to pull itself up”, he continued. “Sixty years ago we used the natural resource, the land, to create the residential tourism business which was the pillar of Montserrat’s economy for more than fifty years. We even tried the tomato paste manufacturing business. Of course there is devastation caused by the volcano, but it brought ‘sand’ a natural resource. And the so called political candidates have not realized the potential of volcanic ash and an integrated sand and quarry industry. Not one of them seems to be aware of the usefulness of the Mining Act and its impact to the economy of Montserrat. “

I wanted to ask him to simplify his statements, but I could not get the words out. You know what I mean.

Just then, as if to keep me attentive, John Alfred began to speak, he said “Baker Hill Man, I did not say much to you when I was alive, but I had to accompany Mr. Bramble to talk with you. Although my political party created years of good times, I never understood the importance of taxation to nationhood. And under my leadership I made sure that the very wealthy Montserratians did not pay their fair share of income tax compared to the poor civil servants. I also turned my back on tax compliance and caused the tax arrears situation. I truly regret that! But if had the chance to do it over again, I would make taxation, tax compliance and tax reform the major political platform issue.”

I wanted to ask them to make a much shorter political statement. I kept thinking about Bennett my Editor; you know how he is with…; but I could not speak back to them. However, they knew what I was thinking, so ‘William H’ and ‘John Alfred’, Montserrat’s two deceased political leaders, gave me the following ‘paid for political statement’.

‘Our political party has nine candidates of stature and courage who can represent Montserrat.

We will ensure that future candidates are chosen from the members of the party and that they are fit and proper to represent Montserrat.

We will ensure effective political succession planning conditional on candidates’ basic knowledge and understanding of government business, basic knowledge of administrative procedures and awareness of legislative practices.’

‘Our party will pass the Mining Act. We will nationalize the volcanic sand and ash in Plymouth, Belham and Trants. We will ask the UK government to set up an integrated mining and quarry industry to provide meaningful sustainable contribution to the economy of Montserrat.’

‘Our party will give unconditional forgiveness on all income tax arrears due on earned income up to year 2013 and assessment year 2014.

We will give an income tax free year for all income earned in year 2015.

We will ask the UK government to legislate and implement a modern system of income tax laws to take effect from January 2016.’

Our party will legislate for succession planning in all government departments, statutory institutions and private sector companies, especially the financial service industry.

We will legislate an apprenticeship program for all trades especially in the building and motor mechanics trades.

We will pay to contractors and employers the additional costs for participating in the apprenticeship program.

They, William and John, assured me that the Montserrat Reporter will get paid, in kind; and dematerialised.

You know what I mean.

 

 

 

 

 

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A Moment with the Registrar of Lands

By Man from Baker Hill

You know what I mean —

I was tired; but not sleeping. My partner and I had just returned from our walk one evening last week. As customary, during our walk and among our chatter we talk politics; this time she mentioned that she encountered members of a political party doing house to house campaign in Baker Hill. So when I heard the knock at my door, I assumed that some of them timed my return; and I was not pleased.

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Nevertheless, I came to the door but did not open it. I heard a shuffling sound and two politicians materialised behind me in the kitchen. They were ‘William H’ and ‘John Alfred’, both deceased Chief Ministers of Montserrat. I cannot describe what they looked like or what they wore; I just knew who they were. You know what I mean.

They, both Willie and John, came to talk with me. They had a political statement to share with Montserratians. They spoke; to be honest I cannot explain how they spoke. I just understood. You know what I mean.

“The report from both hell and heaven”, William H said, “is that politics on Montserrat have become a kind of joke”. Sixty years ago, I was part of a political party that developed sustainable economic, educational and social programs for Montserrat. And as Montserrat’s first Chief Minister, I took the island on a journey to political respectability and economic maturity. I listened to the wise and developed an economic journey for Montserrat second to none in the Caribbean.”

“Now resting in my peaceful grave,” William said, “I am humiliated by the sounds of men and women ‘of ashy feat’ clamoring to be the next Premier. Men and Women without political training or experience who are unwise to the meaning of fiscal or economic programs for sustainable nationhood; men and women whose aspiration is to spend UK taxpayer’s money.”

“Every nation must find a way to pull itself up”, he continued. “Sixty years ago we used the natural resource, the land, to create the residential tourism business which was the pillar of Montserrat’s economy for more than fifty years. We even tried the tomato paste manufacturing business. Of course there is devastation caused by the volcano, but it brought ‘sand’ a natural resource. And the so called political candidates have not realized the potential of volcanic ash and an integrated sand and quarry industry. Not one of them seems to be aware of the usefulness of the Mining Act and its impact to the economy of Montserrat. “

I wanted to ask him to simplify his statements, but I could not get the words out. You know what I mean.

Just then, as if to keep me attentive, John Alfred began to speak, he said “Baker Hill Man, I did not say much to you when I was alive, but I had to accompany Mr. Bramble to talk with you. Although my political party created years of good times, I never understood the importance of taxation to nationhood. And under my leadership I made sure that the very wealthy Montserratians did not pay their fair share of income tax compared to the poor civil servants. I also turned my back on tax compliance and caused the tax arrears situation. I truly regret that! But if had the chance to do it over again, I would make taxation, tax compliance and tax reform the major political platform issue.”

I wanted to ask them to make a much shorter political statement. I kept thinking about Bennett my Editor; you know how he is with…; but I could not speak back to them. However, they knew what I was thinking, so ‘William H’ and ‘John Alfred’, Montserrat’s two deceased political leaders, gave me the following ‘paid for political statement’.

‘Our political party has nine candidates of stature and courage who can represent Montserrat.

We will ensure that future candidates are chosen from the members of the party and that they are fit and proper to represent Montserrat.

We will ensure effective political succession planning conditional on candidates’ basic knowledge and understanding of government business, basic knowledge of administrative procedures and awareness of legislative practices.’

‘Our party will pass the Mining Act. We will nationalize the volcanic sand and ash in Plymouth, Belham and Trants. We will ask the UK government to set up an integrated mining and quarry industry to provide meaningful sustainable contribution to the economy of Montserrat.’

‘Our party will give unconditional forgiveness on all income tax arrears due on earned income up to year 2013 and assessment year 2014.

We will give an income tax free year for all income earned in year 2015.

We will ask the UK government to legislate and implement a modern system of income tax laws to take effect from January 2016.’

Our party will legislate for succession planning in all government departments, statutory institutions and private sector companies, especially the financial service industry.

We will legislate an apprenticeship program for all trades especially in the building and motor mechanics trades.

We will pay to contractors and employers the additional costs for participating in the apprenticeship program.

They, William and John, assured me that the Montserrat Reporter will get paid, in kind; and dematerialised.

You know what I mean.